the roller coaster

Have I used this metaphor before? These last few days were certainly a roller coaster, an old school one that just sends you down a massive drop then twists and turns until it brings you back up again. I liken these last few days to a certain roller coaster at Lake Compounce, the one old wooden one that seems fun and nostalgic as you walk in the park and hear it rumble by with kids screaming on it. But I think they're screaming in pain, because it's so unbelievably shaky that every second on it is painful. And the most relief you get is when the ride comes to a full and complete stop.

Now that my ride has come to a full and complete stop, well, really it did so yesterday, I have a sense of peace that seemed impossible to feel amidst the jerky and shaky weekend. It's amazing to me that my trial coincided perfectly with what the disciples must have faced as they saw Jesus arrested, tortured and crucified, then waited in fear and uncertainty until a massive turn around, a renewal, the resurrection, that took their painful journey to a full and complete stop. And for me just like them, the day after the resurrection wasn't about sitting in the same place, but moving on to the new thing that's in front of them.

Over the weekend I felt the ground beneath my shake and start to fall away; a build up of work stresses and daily life stresses and home stresses led me to search for plane tickets back to the U.S. But I didn't buy one, thankfully, because as quickly as the ground started to fall away it started to feel firm again. My friends and family both reached out to me and prayed for me, a confluence of encouragement that kept me going. The fear and uncertainty the disciples felt that Saturday, I felt Saturday too.

Maybe it's going too far with the metaphor to hope that my work and life here will be a new creation, just how Jesus' resurrection ushered in God's new creation. So far it seems like it. I'm working on enjoyable things today, I'm still across the street from the farm but letting the farm take care of itself, while I plan how to empower the farm to not just survive but grow. I'm looking for new places to live away from the farm. My time left here is less than the time I've spent here, and the ratio is looking better and better every day.

My weekend is a testament to how God works through the roller coaster - through your friends and family, prayers you don't even know were uttered, and by rewarding faithfulness when the shaking ground seems to be sliding away from you. And roller coasters aren't one time things, so here's to learning how to get through them, thanking the ones who help you, and being better for it by being on the other side.